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“I spend an insane amount of time wondering if I’m doing it right. At some point, I just remind myself that I’m doing my best. That is enough.” ~Myleik Teele
Does this sound like you? Perfectionism is an obsession in our society right now. So, what is perfect? One definition of perfect is this – without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings. I tend to see a lot of people approach learning with this attitude – I can’t make any mistakes and allow anyone to see me being less than perfect. Although when I ask whether or not perfection exists, they say no. "I must give my all" isn’t really a bad thing but when having to give your all means being perfect, and there’s no such thing as perfect, it can turn into… I may as well do nothing. At least if I do nothing, I haven’t really failed and I won’t feel embarrassed or humiliated.
So, why this push to be something we can't be?
Because perfection doesn’t exist, it sets us up for failure every time. From that perspective, it certainly makes sense why you’d want to do nothing versus failing every single time. Once in a while you see glimmers of what is perceived as perfection. Those glimmers continue to keep you holding on for hope. If I just do this one thing…I’ll get there, I can be perfect. The problem is, the one thing never leads to perfection… Because there is no perfection.
HOW TO DEAL WITH PERFECTIONISTIC TENDENCIES
So, why this push to be something we can't be?
Because perfection doesn’t exist, it sets us up for failure every time. From that perspective, it certainly makes sense why you’d want to do nothing versus failing every single time. Once in a while you see glimmers of what is perceived as perfection. Those glimmers continue to keep you holding on for hope. If I just do this one thing…I’ll get there, I can be perfect. The problem is, the one thing never leads to perfection… Because there is no perfection.
HOW TO DEAL WITH PERFECTIONISTIC TENDENCIES
- Learn to embrace mistakes – know that mistakes will help you grow.
- Feel good about a win – winning feels good and should be celebrated, but having a win doesn't mean every practice will be a step forward. Celebrate then refocus so you are present for the next challenge.
- Find 1-2 things that you did in a practice that are positive – Beginning to point out the positive things will help motivate you and give you confidence.
MISTAKES HAPPEN. MISTAKES ARE HEALTHY.
There really is no such thing as perfect but there’s something better than that! What is it? Realizing there’s no such thing. Learning to be ok with doing your best (whatever that is at any given moment) and allowing yourself to be human. Just do your best. Be your best. That means what you have the ability to be.
Being present in the process will allow you to do what you want to do. Mistakes will still happen but they are so incredibly important for growth. Here’s my challenge to you – instead of trying to be perfect, try to find another way to appreciate the positive things and deal with mistakes in a healthier way. I'll leave you to think about this quote: "If I am not failing regularly, I am living so far below my potential that I am failing anyway".
My honey pot colouring here is from our Mini Colouring Class Bundle 6 which you can find in the store here! It includes instructions for both markers and pencils - love to have you join in and thank you for reading this week's art therapy post! :)
